I don’t deal well with anger, neither my own nor others’. I think it’s relatively hard to get me upset but it can happen. And I don’t mean work-under-pressure kind of upset because this sometimes happens and it’s OK – it’s just an indication that I care about what I’m doing.
What I do mean is the kind of anger where you are really upset at one person and you’re about to say nasty things to him/her. That’s basically when I shut down. I learned that when I’m saying things out of anger I’m always sorry for it later. So I just shut up and take whatever it is the other person has to say to me. Unfortunately, shutting up isn’t a well-received response by people. It looks very much like indifference. If they only knew what I was about to say, they would probably prefer the silence.
Lately a friend of mine got angry at me. She criticized me for something I did. I think she was partially right but she was also very judgmental and blunt saying what she had to say. Not being the judgmental type myself, I don’t appreciate being judged. I didn’t want to hurt her so I ended the call (luckily, it was on the phone) and haven’t talked to her since. I’m too angry at her for saying the things she said and I have a feeling she won’t accept my criticism well and if she keeps talking the way she did it will just get me even more upset.
I think it’s time to review my relationships with some of my friends. I’m less willing to accept judgement and anger than I used to in the past.